This Is Just A Dream
by greysxx
Summary: Fourteen year old, Calliope Torres just lost the most important person in her life. This is her journey and how she finds her way. Will she make it?
As I walked into the room, sickness rised in the pit of my belly. I didn't feel anything but the constant ache in my chest, and as I held my Aunt's hand and looked down at my mothers borrowed body from God. She looked nothing like I expected. She was swollen, puffy, and nothing like I remembered. I still couldn't believe six days prior, she had lived her last day on earth. My mother wasn't even 40 years old yet, and there she laid; dead. How was I ever going to survive this? How am I going to make it without my mother?

The entire service visitation service, I stood right next to my mothers casket and held her hand. How could I say goodbye? My sister was sad, shocked, and utterly dismantled, she couldn't stand there for longer than 5 minutes without a breakdown, but me, I knew how brave needed to be. So, I stood there completely numb to any feeling. The entire town practically hugged me; my friends, my teachers, fellow coworkers and students of my moms, some family I haven't since in years, and even the town deputies. The hugs were welcome, but non of them compared to a hug from my mom.

I kept an eye on my father the entire time, he and my mom had been divorced for almost half a decade, but the tears I seen in his eyes showed me how much she meant to him. Oh, how I kept reliving the moment he told me, " _Mija, I don't know how, I'm going to tell you this.. " "What, Dad? You're starting to worry me." "Mija, your mother went to heaven today to be with Jesus…_ " I knew he was trying to be strong for Aria and I, and I also knew he didn't want Camila, his wife, to know how hurt he was.

The visitation seemed to drag on, I think it was the longest and worst day of my life. After leaving the funeral home, immediate family members went directly to the cemetery for the burial service. I hated this, every single second of this. All I wanted was my mom. I just didn't understand how this happened to my family; to my mom.

That night I waited until Aria, fell asleep in the bed next to me, and then I cried, and cried, and cried. I cried until my eyes, were bright red, my cheeks were swollen, and raw. It was like walking across the road, and out of the middle of no where a bus comes along and literally wipes you out. I didn't know how I was supposed to act or if I should just lay in my bed forever. Words just cannot explain the physical pain I felt in my chest. I know that sounds crazy because physically I am fine, but I literally feel that constant ache in my chest and it was a real pain. My mom was so out going, and so full of life. She was the kinda person literally everyone liked and if they didn't it was because they were jealous. When she walked into a room it was like all eyes found her in seconds. Her smile and laugh was so contagious, how could my life exist without those things?

Now that my mother had died it was like all aspects of my life changed; I know lived with my father, his wife, my sister, and my two step-brothers. I lost all my friends, because I just didn't want anyone anymore. I just need to be alone. I know was such a fun person now it kills me to smile. My grades have begun to drop drastically, which my father was not happy about. Seemed as if everyone was moving on and I was just stuck; stuck alone, stuck in my room and even stuck with my father.

Papa and I, always argued from the time I could argue, but it was even worse now, how could he just forget that he wasn't a father practically at all for 14 years until recently? Sure, he paid child support, but that doesn't make him a father. When Papa and Camila got married, its was like who's Calliope and Aria? He never called, or sent birthday cards, nothing. When him and mama were married he was always busy, busy working or drinking, who knows which one it was.. and now that mama has passed, he drinks more and more. I love him but I just don't know how to stop being mad at him for all the things he did. How do you forgive someone, for never being around and or treating your mother like crap? Does he just not remember all the times I begged him to stop swinging at her, all the times I jumped on his back trying to get his drunk ass off my mother? How do you forgive someone that made your mom so heartbroken, that she couldn't love anyone else? The saddest part is I know Mama would be yelling at me right now… " _Don't you treat your father like that, shortie_. " and even worse than that, I know she still loves that son of bitch. I just wish I could explain all of this hate I'm feeling to her, she always understood me.

School is the worst part, kids where constantly telling people how I lost my mom. So many rumors have been going around, that she killed herself, or that she drug overdosed, and my mom never done any damn drugs. Truth is, were not even sure why she died, an autopsy report takes 12 weeks. I just want to run away and get the hell out of here.

One particular day at school, a girl named Makayla that I was friends with in elementary school came up to me, and said "Hey Callie, I just want you to know, Im really sorry to hear about your mom." For a moment it was like time stopped, and I just seen black…

"You know what, you fucking bitch, you know nothing about my fucking mom, so don't tell me your sorry.."

"Wow Callie, calm do…"

"Fuck you"

Then I really saw black, I just started swinging, I don't even remember the first punch, but the next thing I know Mrs. Smith is pulling me off of her.

"Girls, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

Makayla gets to her feet, and is profusely spiting blood. "Mrs. Smith, she's freaking crazy, I just told her I was…"

"Don't you dare fucking say it, again!"

"Calliope Torres, you better stop with that fowl language at this school, young lady! I will call your father."

I jerked my arm from Mrs. Smith's hold, now I was pissed.

"Fuck this school, and you. Just call him already!"

"Calliope, lets go right now. Principle Jans is not going to be happy with you!"

Mrs. Smith literally drug me down to Mr. Jans Office where I sat until my father got there.

"Papa I don't know what happened, I was just so mad."

"Calliope Mae, this is unexceptable behavior! You are a Torres for God's sake."

"No, Papa! You're a Torres."

"Lets finish this discussion at home."

That night sitting in bed, I still can't find any remorse for Makayla. Papa told me I have to write her and Mrs. Smith and apology letter, like hell I will. I have nothing I want to say sorry for. Papa also says I'm grounded for a month, what life do I have anyways?

 _Man, how am I going to escape this hell?_

 **So, its been awhile. I am planning on going back through this chapter an correcting my mistakes, just wanted to get this posted. Let me know what you think. - T**


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